Positive Thinking with an Anxiety Disorder, Day 11

I previously mentioned that in addition to being an uptight perfectionist by nature, I have an additional challenge when it comes to positive thinking. I have an anxiety disorder. When I was very young I had big worries about bad things happening. It wasn't until early adulthood that I was actually diagnosed as having General Anxiety Disorder with a tendency of OCD when it comes to worries and irrational thinking. (More of my story is shared here.) Since being diagnosed, I have been taking medication which has greatly improved my overall sense of well-being. Over time I have also learned to be mindful of triggers (change, fatigue, lack of sunlight,) and I have learned some coping strategies to use when anxiety escalates.

However, negative thinking is a close cousin to some poor habits that I have developed in relation to my anxiety disorder. If I am not currently worrying about something, I will look for something to fill that void. When life begins to flow smoothly, I begin to anticipate some unfortunate happening. Struggle is more familiar than comfort and ease. The darkest days come when I have irrational thoughts that swirl around and around in my mind like a tornado... until I write them down on paper. This writing exercise has been extremely helpful.

As prescribed in the book Feeling Good by David D Burns, I divide a piece of paper into two columns. The left = my irrational thought. The right = the truth/ reality. For instance, I remember writing "my husband is going to die during his deployment to Iraq" and then adding, "there is a much greater chance that my husband will survive," followed by a list of the particular circumstances that would contribute to his safety. After I see the truth written on paper in black and white, the whirlwind of scary thoughts in my head dies down a lot, and I am then able to gain control of my thoughts, recognize reality and replace fear with hope.

Thanks to the experience of the writing exercise I described, I now know that writing my thoughts and feelings on paper (or screen) helps me shift from a negative viewpoint to a positive perspective. This is one reason why keeping a gratitude journal is particularly appealing to me.

So... there is a little more history behind my interest in studying and practicing positive thinking. It is a way for me to counter-balance my tendency to gravitate toward the negative, or that which is wrong or worrisome. But hope prevails, just as light overcomes darkness.

Invitation: Consider your natural tendencies and habits that may lend themselves to negative thinking. Contemplate what you can do to shift your perspective to a positive one.

Continue to Days 12-18, 7 Ways to Boost Your Mood.

For the introduction and list of daily topics for my project, 31 Days of Positive Thinking, go here.