On turning 39...

Lots about my 39th birthday could be described as belated, including the celebrating of it and my blogging about it. Dave had 24 hour duty the day before my birthday so he got home the day of and went to sleep.  He woke up a few hours later just in time to head off on a Boy Scout campout with Paul. I'm glad they could go camping, and I thought I was mature enough to handle celebrating on a day other than my actual birthday. Well, I'm not that mature. I was mopey and it only got worse when Dave got home from the campout and then got sick. He kept saying "this is not how I wanted this weekend to go." I wholeheartedly agreed with him and let him know that the concept of "better late than never" was applicable to the circumstances. Three days later Dave brought home an ice cream cake and a couple of gifts and we had a little family party. I liked it.

Let me not overlook that there were some people who came through in a timely manner--  flowers from a friend and a card and a check from my parents saved the day.  I quickly ordered myself a very sweet necklace that I had been eyeing and thanked my mom and dad for it. And of course, facebook wishes poured in at a steady rate. Gotta be thankful for the cyber love too.

So, I thought that the big 4-0 was when everyone is suppose to freak out, but I guess that's one thing that I'm doing early. I thought I was all good about being 39, but I found myself thinking all kinds of things about how I was (likely) about half way through with my life and asking myself why I was still struggling with the same old stuff. Shouldn't I have "arrived" somewhere by now? Aren't I suppose to be wise and have "it" down by now?

Well, this has sort of been a theme of mine lately as I've been looking to do away with negative thoughts and start some positive self talk. I've been thinking much about loving myself as I am right now! Note I said thinking, I am still working on the doing.  So through this process of self evaluation, which largely includes my weight loss challenge and my erroneous complacency to live in a constant state of struggle in general, I have being led to some things that are confirming my suspicions of where I need to shape up (figuratively speaking) and providing avenues for me to enjoy life right now and practice living an abundant life like my Heavenly Father wants me to do.

Perhaps undertaking such an adventure is my version of a mid-life crisis. (It's certainly more beneficial than buying a Maserati or having an clandestine rendezvous with some dweeb on the internet. Ha.) Anyway, I don't have all the answers, but I am getting on the right path to find them and I think that is a very good birthday gift.