Somewhere in that Smoky Mountain Rain

Dave signed us up for a family retreat sponsored by the post hospital commander and led by the chaplain. We went to Gatlinburg, TN which was about a 5 hour drive east- the farthest east I (and my children) have ever been. As we entered the city limits of Pidgeon Forge, which is a larger version of Gatlinburg, Dave and I both had a sense of deja vu and had to make sure we were not in Branson, Missouri- bad traffic and tourist traps galore. But when we didn't see any billboards advertising shows by the Osmonds, Shoji Tabuchi, or any over the hill and less-than-popular country western singers, we were assured that we hadn't taken a wrong turn.


DAY ONE- We then drove through Gatlinburg and on into Tennessee National Park where we, even through the heavy rain, we found the Park Vista Hotel where we would be staying. We had already seen a picture of it online- nice shape, great location, and paid for by your tax dollars- so we were looking forward to it. Olivia hoped we wouldn't be on the top floor (guess she shares my fear of heights) and was only slightly relieved to find out we were not assigned the 15th floor but the 14th.

In the evening, we met with the other families in the group and received some brief instruction from the chaplain on "five things that makes a healthy family." Apparently he figured we could read about the other two in our free copy of "Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families" by Steven Covey. It was announced, to no one's disappointment, that because the hotel was packed with other conferences there were no meeting rooms available for classes on day two so we were to be set free to enjoy family bonding time however we chose the next day.

Before retiring, we took a dip in the pools. The baby pool was made for extremely tall and well balanced babies. Dave rescued our little Seth who immediately fell face forward, before Dave or I stepped into the pool. (Thanks for sacrificing the newness of your tennis shoes, Dave, and I'll try to keep my comments about your sour feet to a minimum.)



DAY TWO- After perusing the brochure of Ripley's Believe it or Not museum that morning, I quickly realized that there were things in that place that I just didn't want to see or believe so we eliminated that option and went to the aquarium. This is really the only place I took photos 'cause it was slightly inconvenient to try to handle my 10 lb camera with its really-too-close-for-indoor-shots lens that I brought while pushing a stroller. My other excuse for minimal photos is that this was a quick trip and there wasn't much time to stop and smell the Smoky Mountain flowers AND satisfy the small yet eager tourists among our company. The best part of the aquarium was going through a glass tunnel and spotting sharks, a sea turtle, and a saw fish with a snout at least 5 feet long. The kids touched horseshoe crabs and thought about touching the stingrays.

That afternoon we headed back to the hotel for lunch. I'd give the food 2 out of 5 stars- not that good but paid for. In fact I felt like I had to order appetizer and dessert so I could take full advantage of the $28 voucher for an adult meal. Ironic that the food was free, but I'm paying the price now. Darn! Anyway, the kids were encouraged to eat as many scoops of ice cream as they could to top off each and every meal making snacks during the day nearly unnecessary.

We took the trolley back to town and begged for mercy at Davy Crockett's mini golf. You see, the clerk at the aquarium where we bought a package deal forgot to tell us we needed to keep our aquarium tickets which would serve as tickets to the other attractions in the package. At least I had the receipt with me and the lady eventually took pity on us and let us through.

You know, Seth is a big boy. Seth gets increasingly heavier over the course of 18 holes. I almost quit mini-golf, but Dave encouraged me, and I persevered through the course. I know exactly why Dave didn't want me to quit- it was because he hoped to finally beat me at mini golf. He hasn't gotten over the fact that I crushed him at mini golf on our honeymoon 11 years ago. Unfortunately, for him, there were a couple of holes that did not get recorded properly and then the untabulated score sheet ended up going through the laundry and coming out looking like confetti. So, I still reign supreme at mini golf.

After returning our golf clubs and walking to the trolley stop, we were slightly inconvenienced to see that the trolley would not be back around for 40 minutes. Dave saved the day by walking across the street and bringing us back some ice cream. That made the wait tolerable, and then we were happy to find that the digital schedule had advanced by 20 minutes and we didn't have to wait that long after all. It was paramount that we get back to our hotel room ASAP because the premier of a Wizards of Waverly Place movie was soon to begin on Disney Channel. Olivia and Paul deemed this program so important that we had to order carryout from the restaurant. (That reminds me, I need to mail that linen napkin that accidentally ended up in our dirty clothes pile back to the hotel.)

DAY THREE- A bit of excitement ensued when the power of the hotel went out for about 20 minutes. We were 30 seconds from getting stuck in the glass elevator. We spent the first several minutes of the blackout in the "spiraling fifteen story atrium." Alas, we were happy to find out that our key cards to our rooms still worked and we waited it out there instead.

After a not so noteworthy breakfast, Dave and I spent some time in class learning more about being good spouses and parents while the kids did something to pass the time in the room next door. Parting gifts included the Covey book mentioned previously and Gary Chapman's "The Five Love Languages of Children" and its predecessor "The Five Love Languages of Teenagers." All present promised not to sell these books on ebay.


One more free meal and we were on our own once again. We hit the Gatlinburg strip where we went through a mirror maze. It was both unsettling and comical to hear the kids say, "which is the REAL Dad?" "will the REAL Olivia please raise your hand???" Dave really got into the maze and as the kids were filling plastic tubes with flavored sugar, Dave took another spin through the maze himself with the additional challenge of wearing 3D glasses. Some Jelly Bellies and bridge mix rounded out our
candy purchases and we were off to find an Old Time Photo Studio- not a hard find as these shops are located about every 20 yards. Dave and I thought it would be fun to get one of these old fashioned photos of the whole family as a follow up to the one we got on our honeymoon 11 years ago.

When we got home the kids wanted to see the honeymoon photo and Paul exclaimed, "Mom you have changed a lot and Dad hasn't changed at all?" Feeling risky, I decided to throw out a really volatile question to Paul: "Do I look better now?" Without hesitation, Paul heartily answered "yeah!" (That's my boy-- one VERY smart kid.)

It was a really memorable trip and we loved getting a change of scenery for a few days. We enjoyed leaving the day to day worries behind and just being able to focus on each other and think about our family and what we were doing well and what we need to improve.

Following are the rest of the pictures from the aquarium. Now maybe I can get that Ronnie Milsap tune out of my head...