Fighting for Fitness

I've been wanting to write about my fitness progress but have been kind of putting it off because... 1) I don't want to jinx anything and 2) I can't decide if I should give the long or short version. Anyway, here it goes...

I have already mentioned that on my 37th birthday (10 weeks ago) I signed up for a membership and personal training at a local gym. It has been awesome, and I feel like I was guided to find this avenue.

Tangent: One of my pet peeves about fitness and dieting is when people think they are being helpful by prescribing to someone else the diet and exercise plan that has worked for them. Sure, there are some principles that are 100% across the board like calorie intake and calorie burn, but who really cares if you are kickboxing with Billy Blanks or sweating to the oldies with Richard Simmons? What works for one person is sooo not necessarily going to the best choice for another.

That brings me to how I wound up at the fitness center--- I had been praying and praying that Heavenly Father would let me know what was right for me. How should I, Clair, go about improving my physical health? Unfortunately, it is true that gastric bypass was an option. I have mostly negative feelings about this surgery that I won't go into right now, but let me just say that I felt compelled to at least gather information about it (all the while looking for more and more reasons NOT to get it.) I figured if I could eliminate this option, I'd free myself to jump whole heartedly into taking on the journey sans medical intervention. Though gb wasn't an appealing option, I felt compelled to do my research.

I warily went to the first of two mandatory pre-surgery meetings at the hospital for gb candidates. At this point I had made no commitment other than "looking into it." I'm was sitting in the classroom looking around at all the people who were either incredibly unhappy with their bodies (or they had been before they started losing weight after surgery.) I should specify that some people in attendance had already gotten the surgery and some had not. Anyway, I'm not talking about a handful of people- this is a ROOMful of people. And I just felt very sad thinking that this many people had given up hope in making lifestyle changes that would lead to a healthier, happier life. (Let me insert that for those who have had the surgery and it blessed your life- great! I am glad for you and I appreciate those friends of mine who have shared their experiences with me. But as I mentioned before, I truly believe every one's journey is personal and different and I never felt good about the surgery for me. And since this is my blog, I am writing about how I think and feel about the topic in relation to me.)

So the meeting proceeds and someone shares their success story and gives us a list of "foods" that might possibly restore a bit of nutrition to an otherwise malnourished body. I'm enduring the meeting feeling not one fraction more in favor of surgery than I did before the meeting. Then the nurse introduces Mr. Peters and two of his associates. Mr. Peters is from the fitness center and has come to introduce his business to those who are post surgery and need some help toning up. I don't remember exactly what he said but I liked him. I liked him a lot. To me, these three figures at the front of the room were like lights in the darkness. I wanted to raise my hand and ask, "Mr. Peters, what can you do for me so that I can forget about this (d-word) surgery idea?!" I now know that his answer would have been, "What do you want to do for yourself?"

Obviously I decided to go with the long version of the story. My whole point is that while gb wasn't the answer to my prayer, I believe that I was suppose to be in that particalar meeting on the day that Mr. Peters came to talk about the fitness center because going there has led me to people and resources that were the answer.

Anyway... I have been exercising at the gym for 10 weeks now and lots of amazing stuff is happening to me physically and mentally. During my first 6 week assessment, I found that I had lost 6 lbs. Six pounds in six weeks seems pretty un-amazing but my trainer Brandi assured me that slow was the way to go and keep it off. I think of it like this-- one pound a week for one year is 52 pounds and that will be amazing! Regardless of how quickly, or not quickly, the weight comes off I firmly believe that the simple act of turning in the right direction has lifted a heavy burden from my soul. (Pun intended if you like it.) I don't have to loose "x" amount of weight before I feel good about myself. Simply getting on the right path is enough to renew hope and pride.

Oh, I left out another reason that I have put off writing about this. That reason is that it has been very emotional, and I haven't felt quite ready to share that yet. Brandi was the first class instructor that I met and she was the perfect angel for helping me get started on this journey. Unfortunately she has moved onto greener pastures (I mean mountains) in another state, but I will be forever grateful for the big influence she had on me during that first 6 weeks of my journey. There were times when I was in one of her classes watching her bounce around with ease and telling me with all the energy of her heart that I could do anything I wanted to do! It wasn't that she was actually talking to me personally, as there were other people in the class, but I felt like she was talking right to me. This revelation made me want to cry for joy. I wanted to cry often at first. Sometimes I wanted to cry because I felt out of place being the biggest woman in the room and I hated catching glimpses of myself in those darn mirrors. Other times I wanted to cry because I was working out at an intensity that I wouldn't have thought I was even capable of. (It was a cry for happiness, not pain, though it is sometimes painful. Ha.) I was astounded with myself when I finished a whole hour of intense exercise... again... and again! I have found BodyCombat to be the most empowering class and it was very hard not to burst out bawling while listening to Brandi reiterate the words of the song "This is your time! You're not going down!" This IS my time! I am doing something for me. I have found a strength within that I forgot I even had. Exercising is a top priority and I plan my and my kids' activities around it.

Below is Brandi with some of the other instructors at the fitness center. You will see Jen as well. Jen is my new trainer and she is so sweet to check on me and she is great to get me to try things that I would never consider alone. For instance, during my first class with Jen we were working our way around the room at different stations...
When I came to the one with the balance ball I just knew I wouldn't be able to do it so I looked at her to find out what my modification would be. Guess what? No modification. Jen had me up on that ball doing some crazy exercise that I would have been much too self concious to ever try on my own. I felt like crying that day too. I did it! I did something hard!

In summary, I am getting the hang of this exercise thing. I have fun at class and I love feeling stronger. So I am going to carry on with this exciting new part of life, while I turn some much needed attention to nutrition. This is the next logical step for me. I think it is going to prove to be much more challenging than getting my exercise habit underway which in and of itself has been huge. So I'll leave it at that for now and be back to talk about food another time. Until then, I'm going to keep fighting!