Surprises (I hate them for a reason.)

Dave is home! I can hardly believe that his 12 month tour in Iraq turned into 4 months. I had sweat bullets over his orders which read that he would serve no more than 417 days! Anyone knows that 417 is much greater than 365, but as it turns out I need not have worried. So, close to 40,000 troops have been evacuated from Iraq to meet the end of 2011 deadline. Originally, upon hearing the news of the pull out, Dave told me that realistically we were looking at January or February as an actual return date cause there would be soooo many people waiting in Kuwait for flights back to the states. I know now that he was stretching the truth a bit, and that he actually knew that his return was likely to be much sooner. But alas, he fibbed in order to set me up for a bigger surprise.


Let me make it clear that when it comes to surprises, Dave and I have an understanding (or so I thought) that I do not like them. I do not like being caught off guard. I like to plan. Furthermore, I despise surprises in public even more because it means being the center of attention. Apparently Dave forgot all of this. Enter co-conspirator and family friend Joy. She is a woman and so I'm sure she used her temptress ways to cloud Dave's better judgment and convince him that a surprise would be fabulous.


One more important piece of background information is that over the last month Dave and I had talked about surprising the kids (via Faith's request.) I was suppose to know everything and was going to share that info with Olivia (at her request,) but we were going to plan some sort of surprise for the littlest ones. They knew that Daddy would be home soonish but never the exact date. So Dave keeps me sort of in the loop but withholds some information. He leaves Iraq for Kuwait and then flies to Georgia all within a few days time. As of Dec 5th, I know that Dave is in Georgia and I think that he has had a set back/ mix up with returning equipment that is going to push his eligibility to come home back at least one day. On top of that, flights from GA to TN are "supposedly" backed up because of rain and flooding.


So, I know our reunion is close and am expecting to learn of his flight details any day now. Nerves are setting in and I have this nervous energy that I should be doing something to prepare, but yet there is really nothing to do other than keep up with the day to day. If we are surprising the kids, I can't exactly make "Welcome Home Daddy" posters with them or anything like that. I'm tired and beginning to get a bit miffed that Dave didn't have all of his ducks in a row resulting in more waiting. On Monday the 5th I spent nearly the whole day doing my big weekly chores (usually dispersed throughout the week) so that when he does come, I wouldn't have to worry about housework.


I was a mess physically and emotionally at this point. And during that Monday I came very close to cancelling our Family Night plans with my friend Joy, the evil temptress. She played it well though- telling me each time that we talked how much she was looking forward to getting together and how much she needed to some adult conversation. I couldn't disappoint my weary friend no matter how weary I was. So I jumped in the shower at about 4pm, threw on some comfy clothes and put a headband in my hair. Make-up? No. Earrings? Didn't cross my mind. I'm was just hoping to make it through the night so I could go back to relishing in the knowledge that my hubby was coming home soon.


Our plans for Monday night went forward. Joy came over and helped make a spaghetti and meatball dinner. She delivered a lesson, as is typical of Family Night, during dinner. Ironically, it was on patience and what we looked forward to about Christmas. I gave everyone a little clean up job and then we were out the door on our way to Sweetberry, a family favorite frozen yogurt shop, for dessert.



Sweetberry is a self-serve place, so you can imagine a mama's stress level as she supervises her four children dispensing yogurt and toppings into their (yes, you better choose the smallest bowl!) bowl. So my mind was fully occupied during the serving. I did notice upon entering the shop that it was much busier than usual, though I had no time to look at faces or compute the curious majority of Army uniforms worn by the other patrons. I was a mom on a mission- and that mission was to make sure that my kids didn't go overboard on the yogurt leaving me with a hefty bill. Finally, I make it to the register and begin pathetically digging through my purse searching for my Sweetberry punch card. After a couple of unsuccessful minutes, the store owner tells me that I won't need my card tonight because the cost has already been taken care of. I give her a quizzical look, and she directs my gaze to one fine looking soldier who has just stepped out from the employees only area and is now behind the counter!


Now, in a perfect world I would have dropped my ice cream and ran into the arms of my long missed lover as everyone and everything else in the room disappeared. But you must remember that I do not like surprises. I hate not being in control. Unfortunately, my first thoughts went something like this in a half of a second-- "Oh my Gosh, it's Dave! What a stinker, he surprised me! Oh no, I did not put on any make up or take any other special care to look nice for my husband who looks like a million bucks wearing his dress blues and sporting a freshly shaven head!!!" Simultaneously, I noticed there was a camera flashing. So I'm somewhere between elation and humiliation when I go to hug my sweetheart.


At this point, the kids begin to notice one by one who Mommy is looking at and who she is hugging. (Though actually, I do believe that Olivia beat me too him.) Soon, Dave's fan club is gathered round taking turns with hugs and the littlest two want to climb him like a mountain. Aside from me being unprepared, it truly was a wonderful and well-executed surprise that we will all remember forever. We are so grateful to have Dave back safe and sound, and we realize how lucky we are that the military's change of plans worked beautifully in our favor.


In the middle of the night, Dave got to see my tears and be reminded that I’m not one for surprises. I felt a little better when he told me he wasn’t at all embarrassed or disappointed that I had not “dressed up.” I told him that I was not looking forward to seeing the video and pictures of the night because I knew it was going to be hard for me to see myself. I’m of course self conscious about my weight and that is only going to be compacted by not having an opportunity to attempt to look my best. Sigh…

Dave posted his lesson learned on facebook—
Redeployment tip of the day: Surprising your wife and denying her the opportunity to get as made up as she wants to is asking quite a bit. Especially in public. Mea culpa.


I imagine that there are a few lessons in this for me too. 1) Don’t go out in public unless I consider myself presentable. 2) Do something about my weight so that it can no longer rob me of the full joy to be had during otherwise awesome occasions. And 3) It’s not about me. The relationships and the memory are more important than how I looked or felt at the time.

So there you have it. A wonderful story interrupted with self-conscious preoccupations.


(We LOVE the yogurt shop owner and employee. Lisa was the sweetest to let us overtake her shop for our reunion and Riley took the pictures for us.)